Marriage, anyone? - Part 2

I have always looked at marriage from a distance, somewhat like a kid curiously looking at the flames in the welding shop along side the road..

I never really felt the obviousness of actually having to go through the process of arranged marriage myself…For that matter, I never thought it would be obvious for me too.. :) .But I couldn’t escape the parental nagging for a longer time and the groom search began for Manu Joshi….. finally! After some initial pangs of ‘I -can’t-believe-I’m-going-through-this’, I decided to loosen up a bit and have some laughs… like I had a choice! The hmpfs and F words weren’t helping anyway….Why not take a breather and enjoy myself? (Hmm .. I’m planning to write a self-help book on ‘Pre arranged marriage bummers and fixes)

Anyway. So my parents registered my name on one of those popular matrimonial sites and there began a short but epic journey of unintentional hilarity that I experienced thereafter.

(To all those who have simultaneously opened all the matrimonial sites and are fishing for my name in them, please don’t. The profile has been deleted. If you care a bit more to read this blog further, you will know why.)

I was amazed, surprised, not so surprised, flummoxed, jaw-dropped, and of course laughed till the end of my wits as I went through the motley of the groom profiles that came my way. I never really had to search for them.. They just came my way. Like an old saying goes.. ‘for those who wish to sing, find a song’, I would go ahead and say, ‘for those who wish to laugh find a joke …and how!’ I must mention that not all the profiles were/are like that. Some are genuinely good, authentic and convey sensibility. ….But they didn’t make me laugh... :D

So here’s some interesting stuff from the miscellaneous profiles that I noted down for a future laugh. I was not sure whether I should be sharing it on my blog. But my rational mind (which comprises 10% of my mind and still manages to influence my decisions at times) suggested that there is no harm spreading a good opportunity to laugh.
Besides, for ethical reasons, I’m not going to disclose the names of the esteemed owners of these profiles. However, let me assure you that these profiles DO EXIST. I never even had to exaggerate while listing their valuable lines down. Below each instance, I have written some comments which were the reflex action from my side the moment I read that stuff. Enjoy…


“i am some time funny but serious about my carrier. i expect from patner that she must be with me throughout life in any danger.”
….Marrying you will ultimately mean life in danger anyway..


“she should respect parents she should not reserve minded I belive on god iwill not force her but she should respect my fillings i search a partner who share her fillings small small caring loving and suitable to me. i always respect her fillings b"ze i sent my sister to inlows. Bassssss”
….Sir have you heard of something called punctuation marks?
A-n-y-w-a-y.
Toh funny thing ij this ke bhaiyya englis ij e bheree funnneee laangwaje. How else would she share her ‘fillings’ with him? Stop before you think something outrageously vulgar, the guy only means emotions here.. ;)


Annual Income - Rs. 5
…Arre paisa mat dekho…pyar jyada important hai.. :D

“I am very nicely boy i dont want she is for health i want to just she is look good she is nature is very politely i needed qulification is no bar but minimium b. com”
…All unhealthy girls, please contact this monsieur.


“i have father, mother & sister. my father is retired person, mom is working in accounting dept, & mysister is married. she is stay in pune city, she is good, kindly. my famailys valve is more imjportant, my pratnar jis good, she is not compalsary in working, my familimamber in three. i have very cool person, i have father mother & sister. sshe is godd, my drem is achivment of my life.”
…Family’s valve? And what does it mean by she is not ‘complsary in working my familymember in three???’ sounds like a psycho thriller…. Btw, he has not achieved his life…yet…..wonder who’s going to marry an unborn spirit…


“myself sachin im science graduate &wanted my life partner who r good in nature as well as undersand me & my family i. e just like behave as a friend”
… then who’ll be your wife??


“i am very stright minded fun loving person my familiy is having 2 members i like the partner who love the life. Looking for a partener who is cooooooool friendship with me. i love the discovery & hbo channels. mostaly i watch or read about whats new in world. my preffered partner who knows family values & is confident & dission making person. ok have a nice day.........”
… dission making eh…? Cooooool friendship kya hota hai bhaiyya?


"My self Prasad. I like to just enjoy my life by all the way. i dont like to be like a sad ones. i m looking for the person who is like to enjoy her life with me in any situation...... "
…. Dude, have you heard of PMS?


"My father is a foundry consultant and my mother is a house hold wife. "
…. Yes, she just sits around in a corner of the house.. household….. man, what was he thinking?


"I t is a part of dicussion.
so discuss it when we meet.
I like punctuality.
Person should be good looking, Action oriented.
I like travelling. Same with my the bride who came in my life "
… bride came in your life? Then why the are you still on a matrimonial site????... Looks like this guy has come directly from Khadakwasla academy …baaye mudd…. Looook goodd.. 1..2…...1..2..…. hup hup hup….



"My Dream Fairy : I'm weighting for a fairy who is polite, confident, healthy, cultural, responsible towards family, & likes to mix in the society, who will bring more & more happiness in our life & who will shower the blossoms of love and who will live with me HAPPILY FOREVER. "
… Weighting for a fairy eh?... Try sitting on a weighing scale.. fairy will come faster….BTW this guy’s last line sounds scary….like “the hell she will!”


"My Cousin is an extremely handsome man.
He stays with Parents and Grandmom. He is the only child of my parents. "
…….Then who the heck are YOU??????


"am been to USA for couple of times. Which made me open minded and adoptable person. "
….. Anyone for his adoption?


“P. S. I am in search for a wife ( a good wife, who will be a good mother, good daughter in law, good sister in law, who constantly thinks about othermembers of the family and not for herself ) not a partner or friend. I hate girls who drinks( even occassionely. Thats not a hindu culture, with heavey makeup, artificial expressions, loose charactor etc please do not contact or respond if you feel that you are one of them. What I like is natural beauty, simplicity, clean charactor, simple living and high thinking. who uses life for constructive purpose who will be assect to the family and society and not a liability
Joint family atmosphare. ( we all live to gather)"
…. Samjhe?? And his family members live to gather... looks like these are the direct decedents of hunter gatherers from Stone Age. So you know whom to contact the next time your garbage man doesn’t show up….


“I like to maintend relations ship good with every one who are in touch with me or from passed of my life.”
……passed of your life??


“I want a perfect friend who takes care of me, my family. I will with her in every movement of her joy-sorrows.”
… Movement of joy and sorrow????..aaannnnn, naughttty boy.. :)


“I am alone for for my Parents. I want a life partnar who can take care my families, can manage herself.”
… Ok, and how many families do you have sir?


“Its my great pleasure to introduce myself as Abhijit.”
… Otherwise how else do you generally introduce yourself as?


“I would like my partner who'll consider the marriage life as a part of carrier.”
….. So marriage could be a career too.. ;) girls, you have more career choices now.. :D


"I AM VERY FRANK PERSON I WANT MY JEVANSATHI WHICH LOVES PEOPLE AND MY FAMILY MEMBERS OR HELP ME IN MY HAPPY DAYS OR BAD DAYS ALSO IN MY LIFE. "
….. Love sure is conditional—he wants his partner to either love his family or to help him..wah.. But I think if he wants a ‘Jevansathi’ then she would love food more than anything else. :D (In marathi, ‘Jevan’ is meal.)

Anyone who wants to propose any of these dudes in spite of their duds, please register your names on the sites today. For those aspiring to get married some day, I hope you don't feel discouraged towards having an arranged marriage and still vouch for it... after all your efforts for not to have one are ended. :D